Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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