i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
