She said her name was "party"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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