Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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