Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
