i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
