He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
