Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
