No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
