You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
