Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
