How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
