If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't deserve a penis
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
