you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
and she was petting her beer can
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
