Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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