i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
