I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
People in love make me want to vomit
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
