Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
