The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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