what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
