Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
