hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
