he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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