I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
