A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize