My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
