In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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