Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
