Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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