I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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