I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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