Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
