There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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