shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
