you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
