Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
