Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
