Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
