census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
