i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
