A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
