I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
