Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
