This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
