no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
