either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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