He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize