Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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