There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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