just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
