So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
