just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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