Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
