I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
