Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
