smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
