Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
