You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
