Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
