i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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